Channel 4 Super Botox Me

Last night I watched Super Botox Me, a Channel 4 documentary-type on botox. It followed journalist Kate Spicer on a botox quest; asking questions regarding vanity and the increasing cosmetic world we live in. I found it really interesting and disturbing at the same time. By the end Spicer, who from the start seemed quite aligned to feminist ideology, decided she would carry on with botox in the future because of the way it had made her feel. Changing the way she looked, albeit it not drastically, had really impacted the way she felt about herself. Fair enough I think and yes, I agree that often how you look on the outside does impact your feelings on the inside. But what I disagree with is the fact we are made to feel just that. I think it's fucking hard being a woman in contemporary society (no surprise there) and even harder to be a feminist woman in contemporary society. I am told how I should look, how I should dress, what is acceptable, what is deemed beautiful, and I know I shouldn't listen to all that but it's hard. When you've had such ideals drilled into you during your childhood, during your teenage years and during your early adulthood, it is really bloody hard to tune it out; to say you're not going to buy into it. I do worry about how I look, I do care about what people might think, I do buy nice clothes to make me feel good and I don't see this as a major problem for now because I recognise why I feel I need to do these things. I realise the hold society has on women with regards to appearance. And so, for the time being, I'm kind of happy to do as I do but to know inside why I do what I do. And I don't know if I had a point here or whether this was just a flow of consciousness but yeah, there you go. Thoughts?